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You may feel exhausted and frustrated when your kid throws a tantrum, but temper tantrums are usually nothing to worry about. Children, especially toddlers, have temper tantrums as part of their normal development. Children often outgrow tantrums by the time they enter preschool, at around 4 years old.
A temper tantrum is when a child has an unplanned outburst of anger and frustration. Tantrums can be physical, verbal or both. Your child may act out, be disruptive and generally display unpleasant behaviors. Usually, they’re acting like this because they want or need something they can’t express with words. Tantrums are often disproportionate to the circumstances. In other words, children react very strongly to what is likely a mild situation. For example, you might tell your child to put away a toy or turn down their treat request. This may lead to thrashing, yelling and hitting. When should I worry about toddler tantrums?Tantrums are a normal part of your child’s development. They happen as a child learns to become more independent. Tantrums happen most frequently between ages 1 and 4, averaging up to one a day. They typically decrease when a child starts school. At this age, they’re talking more, so they can express their needs verbally. Tantrums usually last between two and 15 minutes. Violent tantrums that last longer than 15 minutes may be a sign of a more serious problem. If your child has lengthy, violent outbursts, talk to your healthcare provider. What causes kids’ temper tantrums?Causes of temper tantrums can include:
A big cause of toddler temper tantrums is the conflict they feel. They seek independence but still crave their parents’ attention. And they haven’t developed coping skills to deal with strong emotions or disappointments. They often lack the verbal skills to explain how they feel, so they lash out instead. If my child throws a tantrum, does that mean I’m a bad parent?A child’s temper tantrum is not a reflection of poor parenting. Tantrums happen because of a child’s personality and current situation. They’re a normal part of child development. What are the signs of a temper tantrum?During a temper tantrum, your kid may:
What should I do if my child throws a tantrum?Try these strategies during your child’s temper tantrum:
Also, try not to:
What should I do after the temper tantrum?Once the tantrum is over, you can engage your child in conversation about what happened. You can also discuss how they can stop tantrums from happening again. Try to:
How can I prevent a temper tantrum?You most likely won’t be able to create a tantrum-free environment. Tantrums are how children communicate. It’s a natural part of development. But you can take steps to reduce the frequency and severity of tantrums:
When should I talk to my provider about my toddler’s temper tantrums?Contact your child’s healthcare provider about temper tantrums if:
Your provider may ask you questions about the tantrums. These questions can help them figure out if the tantrums are typical or a cause for concern:
A note from Cleveland Clinic Temper tantrums are a normal, if frustrating, part of child development. Toddlers throw frequent tantrums, an average of one a day. Temper tantrums often happen because children want to be independent but still seek a parent’s attention. Young children also lack the verbal skills to express their feelings in words. When temper tantrums erupt, try to stay calm. Acknowledge your child’s emotions. When your child calms down, help them label those emotions and find a better way to react to disappointment. If your child has temper tantrums that last longer than 15 minutes or are very violent, talk to a healthcare provider. And if your child is older than 4 and still having frequent tantrums, it’s also a good idea to speak to your provider.
Last reviewed by a Cleveland Clinic medical professional on 02/05/2021. References
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Cleveland Clinic is a non-profit academic medical center. Advertising on our site helps support our mission. We do not endorse non-Cleveland Clinic products or services. Policy |