What to gift someone who lost a loved one

We independently research, test, review, and recommend the best products—learn more about our process. If you buy something through our links, we may earn a commission.

The Spruce / Sabrina Jiang

When it comes to loss, you want to show someone you truly care during their time of need. It helps to provide them with a sympathy gift that can be useful or at least make them smile during a difficult time.

With your gift, you want to be sensitive towards the situation your loved one is in—"It's important you give a gift that is about comfort," says Renee Solomon, DSW, clinical psychologist and CEO of Forward Recovery. We researched unique sympathy gift ideas, considering factors like practicality, quality, and thoughtfulness. Our top picks include a sympathy gift box from Harry & David, a comforting tea set from Knack, and a cooling weighted blanket from Luna.

Here is some inspiration for the best sympathy gifts.

A gift basket is a great option for someone experiencing a loss that may live in a different city or state. It shows you care if you can't physically be with someone. Harry & David is a household name for gift baskets, and after weeks of at-home testing, we deemed it the best overall gift basket brand for its wide gourmet selection and accurate delivery times.

Harry & David's Sympathy Gift Box has all the essentials, including fruit, cheese, crackers, and nuts, and there's even a sympathy card to express your love. Our editors love that each basket comes in beautiful packaging with a basket you can reuse or regift once you're done. Just ensure to check out shipping times to guarantee that your gift basket arrives in time and that all of the ingredients are fresh and tasty.

A bath bomb is cool, but when you want the self-care sessions to continue long after a product has fizzled out, TheraBox is a great option. The self-care subscription box—founded by a therapist—includes a therapeutic activity and up to eight wellness products. You can order month to month, three months, six months, or even a full year’s worth of boxes. Your loved one will think of you and your kindness every time this box arrives on their doorstep.

The days and weeks after losing someone can feel like a fog, but this 31 Days of Kind Notes provides your recipient with encouragement as they grieve. The keepsake jar includes 31 notes and quotes that range from “hang in there, take it one day at a time” to “gone from sight, but never from our hearts.” These are notes someone can reach for when they’re feeling down or just need a bit of positivity. Also, you can choose to add an 80-page book to the notes, which has longer encouraging passages.

According to Dr. Solomon, an ideal sympathy gift should be one that provides the recipient with some form of comfort. This can come in the form of prepared meals, their favorite flowers, or even a gift card that makes their everyday life just a bit easier. 

Also, taking into account a person's specific needs and even their personality is key. "Some people will enjoy humor in a time of pain, but for another person, that may come off as insensitive and rude," says Mallory Gothelf, founder of Find Your/self Boxes. "It’s about knowing the person," she says.

A good personalized or custom gift is a sure way to show them you care during this time of need. Try a photo album or a product that has a special word or phrase on it. This shows you care but also that you put time and consideration into the gift. 

A practical gift is an appreciated gift. This doesn’t just mean a present that the person will actually use—you also want to be sure it doesn’t require heavy lifting on their part, like a meal delivery kit for the person who doesn’t cook or a product that requires assembly or care. They just may not have the emotional or physical capacity to take on something that demands extra effort.

• Do you give gifts at a funeral?

  "It is often not helpful to give someone a sympathy gift at a funeral service because then they have to carry everything home from the service," says Dr. Solomon. Besides being less than practical, Solomon also says presenting the gift during the funeral can make it feel more like a "party," so it's best to just send a gift directly to the person's home.

• What can you put in a DIY sympathy gift basket?

  If you plan to put together a gift basket, it should include a few items that the recipient will love and use. If you know their favorite foods, like small snacks or tea, you can include those. A gift card to a service or even a virtual class they can take at a later date is also a good idea.

• Is wine an appropriate sympathy gift?

  A bottle of wine is usually a great present, but it may not always be best for a sympathy gift. "Some people can drink responsibly while grieving, but other people find themselves struggling with grieving and using a substance," says Gothelf. "To be on the safe side, I would stay away from providing a bottle of wine as a gift."

This roundup was written by Patrice J. Williams. She has contributed gift guides to The Spruce since 2020 and loves helping her friends and family find unique, thoughtful, and wallet-friendly presents. In addition to her work for The Spruce, she writes commerce articles, including product suggestions and reviews, for other outlets as well as appears on air for "The Today Show" and WEtv. She also was the Savvy Shopper reporter for WPIX in New York City. We consulted clinical psychologist and CEO of Forward Recovery, Dr. Renee Solomon, and Mallory Gothelf, founder of Find Your/self Boxes, who shared professional advice on the best sympathy gifts.

Continue to 9 of 19 below.

Continue to 13 of 19 below.

Continue to 17 of 19 below.