What does it mean if you want to live happy and life tie it to the goal not people or things?

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 Posted on January 20, 2015 by abridge

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There are so many wonderful and insightful quotes we can learn from and this little gem is truly one of my favourites. It really says so much about life and the fundamental premise upon which you can build a happy life.

“If you want to lead a happy life –tie it to a goal. Not to people or things ” – Albert Einstein

For me there are two elements to the message of this quote. The first being that if you tie your sense of joy and self worth to a goal – you are in control. You can control your steps towards this goal.You can decide to change course and reach for a different goal at any time. You are in the proverbial driver’s seat and so you are not likely to come unstuck by the opinions and criticisms of others.

You are the captain of your own ship – setting course and sailing towards the destination of your choice.

Should you decide to tie your happiness to other people, you will be forever trying to please them. Forever trying to fit into their idea of what is good, what is worthwhile and what you should be doing with your life – and as you will all know – this approach is doomed to failure and little joy will be found there.

When tying your happiness to a goal – remember too that it is not the achievement of the goal necessarily that will be bringing you the joy. It may just be the working towards the goal. As once one particular goal is achieved we tend, as humans, to set ourselves another goal post to reach.

It is a continuing cycle.

It is a circle that never ends.

It is our constant source of fulfilment – the setting of and working towards various goals.

Reach one – work towards the next.

Decide its no longer for you – change direction.

Struggle with the process, keep on trying, and finally make it to where you have been aiming.

Whatever the situation – the process of having the goal and working towards it, is what will bring you the joy you seek in life.

And what are these lofty ambitions I am encouraging in you?

They can be the smallest, most trivial thing or the grandest scheme and notion you can come up with. The size of the goal is not important. It is the feeling you get as you work towards it that counts.

Perhaps you try a new recipe, you have always been wanting to try.

Perhaps you learn a new language.

Perhaps you set up a charity to raise money for a cause dear to your heart.

Perhaps you determine to finally get healthy, lose some weight and adopt a more active lifestyle.

Perhaps you book a cruise and travel the world.

Perhaps you decide to write a blog, or a book, or a movie script

Perhaps you begin a daily meditation practice

Perhaps you volunteer to assist the homeless or elderly in your area

Perhaps you learn to sing.

Perhaps you take that investors course you have always been interested in.

Perhaps you decide you are going to shower your new baby with love each and every day and be the best mother you can be.

Perhaps you are determined to make a co-worker feel good that day and have planned a series of compliments to give them a boost.

Perhaps you are planning to buy groceries for your elderly neighbour.

The list is endless – and there is no right or wrong.

The goal can be long term or short term.

The happiness and joy comes from simply following your heart, taking action and tying your joy to the actual movement towards the goal – rather than other people’s attitudes to that goal and your pursuit of it.

Which brings me to the second part of this puzzle.

I believe that our sense of happiness and joy rest in two places: our sense of self worth and our sense of contributing to something. And having a goal and tying our happiness to it, is a sure fire way to feel content. To feel worthwhile and purposeful.

Why?

Because – you are in control.

Because  - you can control your work towards the goal

Because – you are in the driver’s seat

Because  - you are contributing to a bigger picture.

Because – you have a reason to be where you are.

Let me be clear though.

You must avoid being attached to the outcome – it is the process, that should be your driving force. The feeling you have as you reach for the goal and follow the path – not the perceived riches or accolades that lie at the end of the journey – but the journey itself, that will bring this happiness.

For as I said – as one mountain is conquered, we set ourselves another to climb. That is the nature of life and what brings joy and happiness. The understanding of this fundamental principal may pay great dividends.

A sense of purpose

A reason to get up in the morning

A path to follow and goal to reach

It is the goal and pursuit of it, that can bring the joy you seek.

But tying your joy and happiness to people is a dangerous thing to do.

Why?

You can not control other people

You can not guarantee their interest in your set of goals

You can not control or guarantee their reaction – or lack of it – to what you do

You can not control their attitude to you and your goals or the contribution they make to your life.

You can not expect them to be as invested in your life, set of goals and dreams as you are.

Only you can be 100% excited, motivated and driven by your life.

Everyone else is too wrapped up in their own.

It is simply not reasonable, to expect everyone else’s lives to be about you and your goals too.

And you simply can not rely on others to set the tone for your existence.

You set the tone for your existence.

You decide your worth on the Planet.

You decide what is important to you and how you are going to get there.

You and only you are the Master of Your Destiny.

Everyone is out there chasing down their own specific goals, and what is of value to you may not be of value to someone else – and expecting them to support all your ideas is simply not fair or reasonable.

We all need to be free to pursue our own particular goals.

Now – if other people around you intersect with you here and join you on your path – great.

But often times you may find that many people really close to you, in fact, do not share your views  and goals.

That is OK.

As I have written before both support and criticism from others ,are crucial in helping you determine what it is, that you do want.  And help you determine exactly what goals are important to you. So take on board both, set your course and then sail off in the direction of your dreams.

Claim your goals.

Claim your life.

Claim your right to be you………and tie your happiness to your goals and the process of attaining these – not to the people around you, their opinions, or the rewards you perceive that may come from attaining your goal.

So simple.

So perfect.

So easy.

Just do your thing, have a reason to get out of bed every morning and happiness can be yours.

And on that note I shall sign off for today.

Discover You. Love You. Be You.

- Christine -