How to put fruit roll up your man

How often do you go down on your man? Do you enjoy it or dread it? What is it about his twigs and berries that you love or dread? His size or smell? Or maybe it's his taste. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. It can be oh so good or oh hell no down there. Let's talk about giving pleasurable head; not just for him, but pleasurable for you too.

DISCLAIMER: Before you continue indulging in my memoir, if you are prude or uptight, then stop reading this. Go back to cleaning your house while tending to your crying Ivy League prodigies. Actually, just don't read any of my blogs because you will not like them, or worse, you will. But for those of you who read my blogs on the regular, call me, because we should be friends.

A few years ago I remember reading about fun ways to lick your mans junk. So I wanted to try a few new tricks. It was my week to be adventurous in the bedroom.If you have read my previous blogs, you know what I'm talking about. I told my lover to meet me in the bedroom on a Friday night at 7. He was in charge of bringing a few fun supplies for the evening. He had no clue what was in store for him, but he knew it was going to be fun. He was commanded to bring his blindfold, wrist ties, strawberry fruit roll ups and to light 10 candles around the room. Why ten? Because I fucking said so.

I laid him on his back with the candle light glistening off his gorgeous chest and Ellie G was playing in the background. I slowly tied his right hand to the bed post and then the other hand. I blindfolded his very excited but nervous eyes.

Ladies, I highly recommend that when you have your man in this position, just take a few minutes to look at him. There is nothing he can do and he is at your mercy. You OWN him right now. All of him. SO enjoy it....

Then, I took the fruit roll up and slowly wrapped it tightly around his cock, starting from the base up to the tip. My love had the biggest smile on his face because now he knew what was in store for him and he loved every bit of it. I slowly massaged his cock with my tongue, tasting nothing but strawberry goodness, I thought to myself, now this is how you give head. Everything was going so perfectly. I felt like a rock star cock sucker who was giving him the best head ever. It was sticky, it was messy, and oooooh so yummy.

Just as I was thinking nothing could go wrong, I heard giggles. Yes a low mischievous giggle. I looked up and he was staring right at me. His blindfold-less eyes were open wide and he was cracking up. I guess I didn't tie the blindfold tight enough. He told me I looked like a clown eating his penis.

This shit was alllll over my face. On my cheeks, running down my neck, between my teeth and fingers.Not to mention the sheets looked like a murder scene.I didn't realize how much I drool when I give head but apparently it's a lot. I didn't care, I wasn't going to let his balls get blue after everything I went through. So, I re-covered his eyes and told him to forget everything he just saw; and I continued mauling him one generous suck at a time.

So ladies, next time you're walking down the snack isle, grab a fruit-roll-up and remember to tie the blindfold tightly.

My gf said she wants to wrap a fruit roll up partly around my dick and have ice in her mouth while giving me a bj. Wtf? What’s going on here

Does ice feel good? Will my dick be sticky or will the ice cancel that out

Will ice effect her deep throating ability

This isn't really a question, but I just wanted to relate an interesting experience I had this Valentines day with my husband. I also hope to get some feed back from one of my favorite subreddits!

As the title suggests we attempted a blowjob with a wonderful, fruity, sticky, wrapping. I am not partial to the taste of semen so this made the whole experience 20X better for the both of us because I was truly enjoying myself and holding nothing back! Things even went a lot deeper than normal! The only difficulty comes when after a few minutes most of the top is cleaned off and the base is still covered with it practically melted on. Extra attention to the base is all that is needed, tho this can distract from the over-all blow job.

My main concern was if the substance would cause a UTI. I am still unsure about the possibility of that but he has yet to get one at least.

I have heard that edible panties are made of a similar substance. Can anyone confirm if this is true or not?

I'd love to hear what you think sexitt! Would you try this?

Who all has tried the fruit roll up trick on their man?

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So I don't like the taste of pre-cum or actual cum, or a guys penis in general, but I really want to give my guy oral, and I know I'll just end up getting totally grossed out by the taste, so I was wondering, would molding a fruit roll up around a guys penis kinda of in a condom form and then proceeding to give oral sex make it less enjoyable for the guy or not enjoyable at all? Or are there some tips you can give me on what to use so that I can actually stomach it? I haven't given him head in a year, so I'm sure he'd appreciate it even if a little sensation is lost. Thanks.

Would using a fruit roll up for a blow job work?

Yes, sure, whipped cream lingerie or ice cream oral might sound hot, but explaining the sugary stains on your sheets and favorite bra to your judgmental dry cleaner is a hell no one deserves. Below, 12 people get real AF about what it's actually like to combine food and sex and oh boy, way too many people are putting Pop Rocks too close to their junk. PSA: It's 2017 and hopefully this doesn't need to be said, but please don't put food inside your vagina.

1. "My boyfriend and I were watching TV, and he had a craving for peanut butter. So we got a jar and started eating from it, and some of it fell on my thigh. I was wearing shorts, so instead of just cleaning it off with a napkin, he says, "Stop! Wait!" and licked it off, and it was so intriguing! So we went from the living room to the bedroom, and we started making out. When we were getting ready to have sex, I dipped my finger in the jar, and dragged the peanut butter on both my nipples and a trail down all the way down to my vagina. Slowly, he started to lick everything off! And it was so hot! The tension buildup was incredible, and when he went down to lick up the peanut butter, he ate me out, and it was fucking fantastic! What we liked was that it wasn't at all messy because peanut butter isn’t as liquefied as chocolate is. It was the start of brand new experiences for the both of us!" —Cristal, 25

2. "One of my first experiences using food in the bedroom was actually ice cream and it turned into some of the best foreplay I've ever had. We were naked in bed with a tub of ice cream and we were kissing mid-scoop. He then started taking mouthfuls of ice cream and sucking on my nipples whilst the ice cream melted in his mouth, which felt incredible. He then started to drip ice cream on the area of my stomach just below my navel and began to lick it off. He then moved lower and was using his tongue on my clit. I've done this with ice in the past and I've found it way too intense, to the point where I don't enjoy it. But the ice cream wasn't quite as cold as the ice and so it was the most amazing sensation on my body. My boyfriend then took a big mouthful of ice cream to let his tongue get really cold and went on to stick his tongue inside me, sending tingles all the way up my spine. I had a pretty intense orgasm after that, then decided it was his turn. I alternated between mouthfuls of ice cream (which was pretty much melted at this point) and using my mouth on him — safe to say he came fairly quickly too." —Georgia, 21

3. "I blindfolded and tied up my boyfriend and made him guess where he was licking the whipped cream off of: my wrist, lips, neck, stomach, nipple, or vagina. Every time he got it wrong, I whipped him, and every time he got it right, I licked him back. The experience was silly but still sexy. It was extremely messy and sticky, but we just hopped in the shower afterward." —Stacy, 27

4. "My fiancé and I decided to spice things up and bring some chocolate into the bedroom. The plan was that it would be warmed up so we could drizzle it on each other. Since this was our first time doing this, we weren't sure what type of chocolate to use, so I decided to microwave up some leftover Easter bunny chocolate. Big mistake! I got it way too hot and right when things heated up, literally and in the bedroom, I went to drizzle it over my fiancé's abs and his sexy smirk went to a horrified scream really fast! I ended up burning him with the chocolate! He had a burn mark that lasted almost a week! Needless to say, now we stick to chilled chocolate syrup or chocolate-covered strawberries if we ever want to try to indulge a little more in bed!" —Christina, 25

5. "I am a woman, and I was in bed with another woman. We peeled a banana, and she stuck it in her vagina, so it was sticking out like a penis. I mimicked fellatio while putting the banana in my mouth, and then slowly ate pieces of it. The act itself was funny, and we had a good laugh about it together. It wasn't messy at all, and it led into fruity-tasting oral sex." —Lolela, 26

6. "During high school, my first boyfriend decided to add a little excitement by putting Pop Rocks on his tongue then going down on me. The popping sensation was unpleasant and unsettling. We shelved the Pop Rocks. Candy is meant to be eaten, not put on sensitive vaginas." —Rebecca, 21

7. "I tried food in the bedroom with honey. It was my ex-boyfriend's idea to pour a line of honey from his chest down to his crotch. As soon as I licked the honey off his chest, I gagged. It was too sweet for me and it was all sticky. We laughed and washed it off by having shower sex. From then on, the only reason I bring food into the bedroom now is to only watch some Netflix or Hulu." —Angel, 21

8. "I tried it once with yogurt. My partner dumped it on me and licked it off. It was very messy, and it was all crusty on me and the sheets the next morning. I wouldn't recommend it because of the mess. I also used Pop Rocks while giving a blow job. It was sticky and awkward ... Not sexy at all." —Lindsay, 35

9. "It was very impromptu; we decided that whipped cream would be a fun way to spice up foreplay. Having been both of our first experiences with food in the bedroom, we sprayed it on some sensual parts of our bodies and then ate it off. It didn't go exactly as I had imagined it! It was super messy and ended up all over the sheets. It was a great experience for us, however; we both laughed the whole time (some whipped cream got stuck in my belly button and he had to lick it ... I'm super ticklish)! I think it helps when you're comfortable with each other and it brought us closer together as a couple. If anything, it opened us both up to trying new things together. Keep in mind, if you decide to try it, to stay away from anything sticky!" —Hannah, 21

10. "I decided it was a good idea to use a Fruit Roll-Up in the bedroom. I wrapped a Fruit Roll-Up around his member before giving a blow job, leaving the tip exposed and throwing the leftover roll-up away. They're tasty so why not? It was definitely a little messy being that it gets sticky when mixed with spit, but it didn't hinder the experience of it all. It was a success and both of us enjoyed it. I probably liked it a little more just because it gave a creative spin on something that can grow routine and mundane after time." —Kerri, 23

11. "My ex and I actually tried the grapefruit blow job. My ex was actually the one who wanted to do it after I showed him the video; we planned the whole following day around it. Once we started getting into it, when I got to use the grapefruit, we clearly didn't leave it out of the fridge long enough, because right when I put it on his dick, he shrieked and threw himself against the wall. So pro tip, make sure it is actually room temperature. Once we warmed it up and got going, it was a lot of fun. For me, it tasted delicious and made giving head a lot more enjoyable. He enjoyed it and said it was something he's never felt before. Since we used this as foreplay, having sex after was a bit tricky as there was grapefruit all over his dick and it was extremely messy. Plus I don't really want grapefruit juices inside of me and giving me some awful bacterial infection. It is a bit messy to do often but would do it again for special occasions." —Alex, 20

12. "A few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I thought it would be really hot if I were to stick a Krispy Kreme doughnut on his special area and eat it off. It turned out to be super messy because the icing chipped off everywhere when I was trying to slip in on there, but still it was still delicious. Overall, we would totally do it again." —Devon, 19

These confessions have been lightly edited for length and clarity.

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